I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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