This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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