i barfeds in our rink
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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