If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
