i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
