At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
