Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
