his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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