and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
