Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
