Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
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I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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