Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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