would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Everything about him screamed your future.
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Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
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I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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