Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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