i don't like sucking hair
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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