I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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