I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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