dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
