Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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