Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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