i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
