so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
