YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
