i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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