My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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