I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize