I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
