maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
