out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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