sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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