his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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