Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
