Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize