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if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize