Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
