Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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