She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
