Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
