No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
