gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
