I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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