I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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