when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
