i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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