I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize