She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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