Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
