They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
God I need to hump something, right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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