Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
