And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
