if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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