You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just cut my nipple shaving
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
