I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
