the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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