i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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