Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
