The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
someone owes me an orgasm
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
