I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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