And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
