yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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