theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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