Is it normal to miss your booty call?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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